The Suspense!!!

OMG! I have absolutely GREAT....and I mean GREAT news!!!!!!!!!!
I am so happy, and greatful! 
So...today I DID go to the Lab. We went around 1, because we got up late (thats the joy of being unemplyed...we get to sleep in!!!). So we go, and when I go in to the Lab, I gave the lady my presciption for the pregnancy test. Then as I'm looking in my wallet to find my insurance card, I remembered it wasn't there. I left it in my other bag, from when I went to the doc's on Saturday. I never put it back in my wallet. Shit. I tell the secretary, "I left my insurance card at home. What time do you close?" 
"5pm", she says.
"Ok. I'll be back in a bit."
So I go outside laughing, (because this is sooo typical me) and Canito is waiting for me in the car, and I tell him I left my insurance card at home. I say, "Let's just go to Papi's house, pick up the clothes (for my interview on Wednesday) and we'll come back." Then on second thought, I say, "Wait, by the time we get to Papi's house it will be around 2:30 already (it's an hours drive), and when we get back, it'll be allmost 4. Then we have to go home, get the card, go back, and by the time the results are ready, it'll be closed already. So let's go home first. If anything, we can go to Papi's house tomorrow, after I take the baby to the doctor to get her shot."
"So what are we going to do?" Canito asks me.
"Let's go home, and get the card."
We go home, get the card, and on our way back, I tell him, "Ok, go back to the Lab, so I can get the test done already."
"But didn't you just say we were going to your Dad's house?"
"No. I said we were going to pick up the card, go back to the Lab and we can go tomorrow. It's already getting late, and the traffic is going to be bad. We'll never have enough time to go to Papi's house, THEN get the test done", I say.
Canito starts cursing all sorts of curses. He curses like a sailor. 
I tell him, "Your getting mad over nothing."

He keeps cursing, and on our way to the Lab, he says, "I don't want to keep getting mad, and stressed. " I tell him, "Your getting mad because you want to get mad. I told you this already. Lets get the test done, and we can go to Papi's house tomorrow, after the baby gets her shot."
"And then we have to wait an hour for that shit? It can wait", he says. I don't say anything, and just let him argue by himself.
I go back to the Lab, and he waits in the car. I get my blood drawn, and might I add, that the shit hurt like a mother fucker. (Pardon my french.) That lady DOES NOT know how to take blood. I hate needles with a passion. More, if they hurt. Not all needles hurt, but that bitch doesn't know how to draw blood. I don't know if the needle was really big, or it was just her, but it hurt like hell. I think I was more nervous (I had butterflies, and I was shakey to do the test) to get my blood drawn. 
I remember one time we took Jay there, to get her blood drawn, for WIC. Her hemoblogine. If thats how you spell it. OMG! She had to use a tiny needle, and the bitch couldn't get her vein, and because she couldn't get her vein, she kept having to move the needle. Through all this, the baby wasn't crying AT ALL untill the bitch had to keep moving the needle. So Jay starts crying, and the nurse takes out the needle, and puts a band-aid. She then says, "I'm gonna have to pintch her again."
By that point I was getting pissed, and Canito was already pissed. Who likes to see their child suffer? I know some mother's do, because they don't give a damn, but that's not me. I hate to see my baby suffer. When I was in the hospital with Swine Flu, I stood there a week. And during that week, Jay had Swine Flu as well. She didn't stay in the hospital. They gave her the medicine- Tamiflu. Canito took care of her BY HIMSELF that whole week. He was the one who took her to the hospital. She was already sick by that time. And people were telling him, Wow your doing it by yourself?" He'd say, "Yeah, because my wife is in the hospital with SF." And they'd tell him, "Your a great Dad. Not a lot of Dad's would do that." What Dad takes his 9 month-old daughter to the hospital, by himself? He did. ♥ So right there he finally confessed that he was stressed, because he felt so alone, and he missed me. And when we found out she had SF, she just kept crying, and crying. And if she was crying, it would make Canito feel bad, because he didn't know what to do. It wasn't because she was sick, because before she went to the hospital, she was fine. Sick, but without complaining. She had to get her blood drawn, a shot in her butt, plus a supository. Through all of this, I couldn't be there for her. I was hysterical in the hospital. Canito was calm. But the same thing he confessed in the hospital, he confessed to his mom, and it was his mom who told me how he felt. He didn't want to tell me, so I wouldn't get more stressed out.  It was just heart-breaking. One day he called me, and said, "Ma, she doesn't want to stop crying." He was crying along with her. =( She felt bad, and the medicine made her throw up. I tell him, "Calm down, your doing such a great job. Your a wonderful father. You can do this. Put her in the play-pen with your phone. Clean the floor, and then put her on the floor to crawl. She'll stay calm." 
We hang up, and she calmed down after she started crawling. She loves being on the floor. 
On another night, he calls me, and says she has a fever of 105. I flip out, because hello? I'm in the hospital! I get hysterical, I tell him, "Please tell me your lying." He says, "No. The thermometer says 105." I say get her stuff ready, and rush to the hospital. I call my dad tell him whats going on. He tries to calm me down, saying that if I don't they were going to keep me in the hospital for longer, blablabla. I call Canito back, and ask, "Canito, are you sure it said 105, or 100.5?" He says, "100.5." A wave of relief washed over me, and I say to myself, "Thank you, God." So I tell Canito, "She's fine. She has a very low fever. Give her some Tylenol, and check her again in a half hour." We hang up, and I call my dad back. He called me like 5 times while I was talking to Canito. And I say, "I'm sorry for how I reacted, she's fine. [Canito] read the thermometer wrong." So my point is, I was hysterical just about the whole time I knew that my baby had SF, and I'm in the hospital, and I couldn't take care of her. Canito did an EXCELLENT job by himself, but I wanted to be with her. I hated that she was suffering. I prayed SO MUCH for her, just asking God to protect her, make her better, and just please not to take her away from me. She's my life. I'd die if something happened to her. (God forbid)
So like I was saying, (about the time in the Lab, when we needed to ged Jay's blood drawn, for WIC) the nurse was just hurting my baby. Then she asks, "What is this for?" And I say, "WIC." 
"Oh, okay. We only need a little bit of blood, then. And I can get it from her finger." OMG! All that, putting my baby through hell, when all she had to do was read the damn paper, or ask me?!?!?!
But yeah, she doesn't know how to deal with needles.
So anywho.... she takes my blood, tells me to come back in an hour, and that was that. I go back to the car, and Canito starts driving, towards Papi's house. He's calm by then. I mean, when I got to the car he was smiling, and clapping, because I finished so fast. So we're on our way to Papi's house, and we're not even half way there, and it's already 3, theres major traffic, and a lot of trucks on the highway. (I hate trucks. I'm terrified of them.) And we're both just like, "Oh hell no." I tell him, "This is why I told you to let's go tomorrow." He says, "Yeah, and when we come back, there's going to be even more traffic, because the kids are getting out of school. Want me to turn around?" "Yes." He says, "Ok. Lets just drive a little more to stop and get some Alcapurrias." (IDK if I spelled that right. But they are DELICIOUS!)
So we stop and get them, and we turn around. And we're half-way there and he starts making fun of the way I drive, lol. I drive with the seat close to the steering-wheel. Even if it's not close I still lean forward. I'm scared of driving. I love to drive, but I'm scared of it. And I have a short attention span, so I don't always see things that I should. But he was exaggerating. So I start laughing, and say, "I don't drive like that. Let me drive. And I'll let you go out tonight." I had told him earlier that he couldn't go anywhere because we needed to save gas, and he had already spent money earlier in Walgreens. So he lets me drive, and we get to our hometown pretty quickly. I turn in the direction of the Lab. We get there, and I pull over, go inside, and ask for my results. I get them, and thankfully the secretary put it in an envelope, because I was just toooo paranoid to read them. I go outside, and where I pulled over, you can't stay, so Canito drove a little untill I came out. I waited about 3 minutes, and when I see him I start laughing. IDK why. I think I was just nervous for the results.
I get inthe car and ask, "Are you ready for the results? I haven't read them yet. I'm too scared." He makes like a scared look, and I start laughing, and he says, "Open it." 
"Pull over." I tell him. You know just in case it's positive, I don't want him driving into someone. (After I told him I was pregnant when I went to the hospital with SF, he stood so quiet. I had to call his name a couple of times so he could snap out of his shock lmao.)
So he looks for a place, and there's no parking, so he says, "Just open it."
I take a deep breath, and open it. I hadn't even taken it out of the envelope, and Canito says, "You did open it. The envelope wasn't closed."
"No. The secretary gave it to me like that."
So I take it out, and it says, "PREGNANCY TEST BY STAT-PAK METHOD........... NEGATIVE"
I kind of screamed, "IT'S NEGATIVE!!!"
"IT'S NEGATIVE, FOR REAL?" Canito asks.
I say, "YES! LOOK! WOOHOO!"
And he does the same, "woohoo!"
We were exstatic. We would love to have ONE more kid in the FUTURE. When Jay is AT LEAST 4. It's just too soon. I'd be taking care of 2 babies. Jay wouldn't even have been 2 yet. Neither one of us have a job either. So it's for the best. If it would have said positive, I would have kept it, obviously. I'm not going to have an abortion, just because we don't have a job. There are ways to raise kids without a job. If it weren't for my dad, we'd be totally screwed, but we would have been able to do it. We would have 9-10 months for Canito to get a job. There was time. I wasn't worried. It's just not the right time, right now.
So yeah. I'M NOT PREGNANT!!!! It's a HUGE relief. I don't want to take Jay's "babyness" from her, you know. I want her to have my undivided attention. And she is one jealous baby. When I was in the hospital with the SF, one time I talked to her on the phone, and I was just saying how I missed her, and loved her, and couldn't wait to see her. She stayed quiet throught all of that. But then I tell her, "Your going to be a big sister!" And she started screaming. She understands like you wouldn't believe, that little one. I just don't know why my menstrual still hasn't come down. It's weird. Maybe the change of weather, since it's been a little chilly these past few days. Or something else. IDK. I need to go back to the doc's if it doesn't come this month. But hey, a month without a cycle is fine with me! SO yeah. I'm happy she's MY ONLY child for now. She has an older brother, but since Canito can't see him (his son's mother doesn't know we live in PR cuz she's a bitch), Jay always has ALL of our attention. And I like that she's MY ONLY child for now. In the future, when she understands a lot more, and she doesn't get jealous, and when she starts pre-school, we'll talk about having another kid. Depending on how we are financially. But not now. 
And this is getting really long so, till tmrw my readers, if I have more than I know about already, great!


Quote of the day: 
"Being a mother is the greatest accomplishment I could have ever dreamed of achieving. It is the one the thing I do the very best at in this life!"